I think it’s about high time I do a little introspection at this minor juncture in my life, if only because I haven’t done so in a while. But mostly because I feel I do indeed once again need to choose which path to go down from this year forth. This, of course, being the worst of nights to have such a session as this, since my alarm is set for 5:30 a.m. (it’s now 3:55 a.m.) for the (unnecessary/unwanted) day trip to Shanghai today.
I suppose it’s convenient for life-thinking that I go on these major vacations every so often (I’m going to Japan for a week at the end of this month to attend a family’s friends’ wedding); they serve as poignant chapter markers in my life, the befores and afters of which I decide upon new directions for my career(s), love life, creative & entrepreneurial aspirations, etc.
This may come as a sudden shock to some of you, particularly since I’m not in the habit of divulging much about my love life to the general public. But seeing as how I’ve been together with Tina for going on past a year and a half now, it would only be natural for things to progress to that next, perhaps even ultimate stage of commitment. I declare without copious amounts of trepidation that marriage and children are probably not all that far off from now. Perhaps within a year or two. Hell, we certainly talk enough about it.
Which brings me to the next point: career choices. Ever since genuinely embarking upon this art dealing endeavor of mine, as some may have predicted, one of three things have since always interfered with this business moving full speed ahead: (1) life, (2) sloth, (3) poverty. Allow me to expound on these.
Life. Shit just always happens. I mean, for God’s sake, I have a three and a half day weekend to get shit done. Yet it never does. Shit somehow always seems to just come up. Maybe my girlfriend gets sick. Maybe the Dreamparty social networking event for creative people that I co-coordinate needs tending to. Maybe I need to liason with participants of a painting exhibition I’ve suddenly decided to volunteer to curate. And then maybe I get sick on top of that. Maybe I need to go to Shanghai or Hong Kong for a visa run. Maybe there’s a famous DJ coming into town that I’ve agreed to interview. Maybe there’s some “international” festival event going on. Maybe there’s an extra class that needs teaching. Maybe my girlfriend’s sister decides to come to town and needs accompanying. Maybe several complications come up during Tina’s visa application process to Japan. Maybe we need to go back to Dongyang to visit her family for the weekend. Maybe I get into a stupid argument with Tina and need to spend the next day or two with damage control. Maybe we need to have dinner with friends, attend a friend’s wedding, which eventually extrapolates into several hours of KTV (karaoke). Maybe some stranger e-mails me again about my feedback on the Alexandria course in Egypt for TEFL International. Maybe my laptop is being a bitch and acting up again, thus requiring extensive net research and repair. Maybe I need to work on something to bring to my biweekly Thursday writing group meetings. Maybe some libelous content needs administering on HangzhouExpat.com and I need to send admonishments to offending users. Maybe I never seem to have or allot time to focus on running my goddamn business.
Sloth. And then, when I do have time, what do I do? I spend it reconfiguring all the corrupt/incomplete ID3 tags on my mp3’s so that my iPod menus aren’t all luan qi ba zao. I spend it fuckin’ around on Facebook, downloading GTA: Vice City. I spend it having trivial/meaningless IM conversations on Trillian, which almost always results in sucking up hours without any benefit to me, networking or otherwise. (Especially since Trillian allows me to chat on AIM, Yahoo!, and MSN all at once. Excluding the Skype, GoogleTalk, and QQ [Chinese] that I open up as well.) Or, I spend it adding entries into my Outlook address book, posting frivolously intellectual retorts to ill-conceived debates on HangzhouExpat.com. Whatever’s easiest and requires less deep thought and planning. Anything but draft contracts for con/artistry, anything but doing some much, much needed ‘liasing’ with gallery, artist, and art dealer contacts that is so, so essential to the networking aspect of my business. Anything but breaking down and learning a little HTML so I can finally, at least, get an ‘Under Construction’ notification up for the company website. Anything but run a business.
Poverty. No, this business really doesn’t require much capital, which is why I went into it in the first place. But that’s different from no capital, with facilitates absolutely nothing other than painfully slow progress. The website should’ve been up months ago, the company stationary, business cards, and catalogs printed and distributed. But alas, no funds to pay the web/graphic designer in Indonesia. Screeching halt. I should be attending art fairs, biennales, opening receptions at galleries in Shanghai. Of course, working on weekends doesn’t help. And not having thousands of dollars to fly to the U.S. and Europe and Beijing doesn’t exactly help speed things up either. (I suppose that last one is mildly forgiveable.) But god dammit, my main market region, Houston, JUST had a major, major Chinese contemporary photography festival that, (1) I should have known about far in advance (all it would’ve taken would be to have simply glanced thru the ads in that latest issue of ArtAsiaPacific I received), and (2) I should’ve flown back to attend, particularly since ALL the major industry players in Houston and numerous high-profile Chinese artists were there on-hand throughout that whole month of events (it’s still going on, actually). But who can do that when you gotta teach class and earn enough money just to be able to fly to the neighboring country while paying back credit card bills, friends, and family members for the LAST vacation you just took to Singapore?
I forget what the figure is. Something like, 75% of start-up businesses fail within the first year? 90% within the first two? I’d say mine falls under a separate category, since it can never really “fail”; it hasn’t succeeded yet! I’d say my business has fallen into a logistical slump/slowdown within the first five months of “operation.”
Thus my currently seriously considering going full full-time at Wall Street, my English school employer. (Full full-time, meaning, as of yet, I’m on a reduced full-time contract.) For several reasons, the first two primarily being, my salary would be significantly higher (the absolute most an English teacher could make in my city, actually, working at a private language center), and my prospects for promotion would probably be better. And I am very much gunning for the top position at my school within, insha’allah, two or so years time. Very promising and lucrative, this company is. The first educational set-up I’ve seen yet in China that’s worth giving a damn about and believing in.
The former of these two reasons, salary, would certainly be nice in expediting loan repayments to my various lenders, put me in a better financial position to get married and have a kid within a reasonable amount of time (I’m gonna hafta worry about two separate hun li’s after all [wedding ceremonies]—-one here and one back home in the States), and put me on a better path to saving for real estate investment. My goal, I’ve declared to Tina defiantly/playfully, is to trump her own investment success by purchasing my first piece of real estate before the age of 29, when she bought her first apartment. :-p
Perhaps things have happened for a reason, and it seems to me, at this point, that all signs are telling me to focus on what I know best—-how to teach English and how to progress in that industry. A good friend of mine told me at the beginning of this year as well: “Stick to what you know best, Eddy,” he said sagely. “The rest’ll come later. You’ve got plenty of time.”
Maybe I should, Roy. Maybe I should put con/artistry off to side for now. Not completely, because then I’d be neglecting the company representatives that I’ve already recruited. But, at least, enough to focus more on the bright end of the tunnel that I can more clearly see.
Thanks, dai lo. I’ve always appreciated your sound advice. I pray for your health and your success down in Zhuhai, Shenzhen, or wherever life may take you down under in Guangzhou.